The problem with extracurriculars. (nhs-related rant 1 of 2)

Time to complain even more. This is something I would like to address in the midst of National Honor Society applications.

Every time a program or activity tries to appeal to students, what do they say? "It looks grEAt on cOLLEge applicATIOns! ~enthusiasm enthusiasm grin grin~"

Then tons of people join the activity...because it'll look good on college applications.

But is that the point of activities? No.

In my experiences with community service, I feel like programs focused on volunteer work (such as the NHS and Key Club) have acutally somewhat devalued and taken the meaning out of service. It's no longer primarily about the people you're helping, but more about the HOURS and how it will polish up your application. The more HOURS you have, the better off you are. It's almost become a different kind of wealth. How do club presidents get more people to go to events? Lure them in with more HOURS. "Extra HOURS to those who do so-and-so at this event!"

Community service has also become simply an excuse to hang out with friends for some people. Wow, something where students can socialize and get hours at the same time? That's definitely sure to allure people to join. But then what happens if not enough people sign up for a certain event? I often overhear people saying, "I'm not signing up for anything this week because nobody else is going," or "I don't want to go there because nobody I talk to is there." It's one thing if a student has social anxiety, but otherwise, meeting with familiar friends is also not the point of volunteer work. Of course, due to the lack of mention of the true purpose of service and due to all of the emphasis on the superficial aspects of it, the activity only gets buried under more and more other superficial reasoning. 

As a result, lots of community service hours may not necessarily indicate that one is a leader, but probably mean that they are trying to spruce up their credentials. Meanwhile, the people who truly want to help are thrown in the same bucket as those who are doing it for themselves, with barely any differentiation. This system is also consequentially spitting out less considerate, vapid students because it is promoting a practice for the wrong (and selfish) cause. I'm not saying that most students don't care about helping out, but that most are attracted more by the social and application-polishing aspects of it because the actual service aspect is neglected when it is introduced to the students.

There's nothing wrong with community service.

There's just something wrong with the way it's presented to students.

intro: this blog was created so this post could have a home.

Tomorrow's my birthday. Right now I'm writing an essay. I have been writing this since 8 this morning. It is now 4:51 PM. Well, I haven't been writing consistently, but it's because I'm trying so hard. That doesn't make sense. I mean, it makes total sense to me, but probably not so much to you. Is it even possible to be trying hard yet not doing anything at all? This is how it's been going the whole time: (1) I write half a sentence. Then I (2) question what I'm doing, because it doesn't tie into the thesis which itself is very vague, and (3) start at the screen trying to make it fit. Then, once I've been staring long enough, I figure that if I don't stop, it'll bore smoking holes into my pupils despite my UV-ray-blocking glasses, so I then (4) get up and walk around in frustration. Walking makes me think of the lack of exercise I've been getting over the past two years. I do run once a week, but that's no good because I want to run every day. Then again, every time I run it feels like blasphemy to the pile of homework that is gasping for air in my backpack. Do I care about the homework? I can't tell. I can't tell what I'm doing at this point in my life. I can't tell if I'm taking an unhealthy amount of AP classes because I'm actually interested or because it's some sort of sick college admissions survival instinct (by the way, by "unhealthy amount" I only mean three, which is pretty much what everyone else is doing, but APUSH alone last year was already unhealthy enough). I also realized recently that I don't have a solid aim, either. Before I was all "I wanna be a super rich math major who has parties in Europe, so I better work hard now!", but is that really a genuine goal? No. Of course not. Why am I trying so hard to get into a certain college when I know that I'm capable of getting into a decent one regardless of how "above and beyond" I try? I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, after pacing around until my eyes don't kill anymore, I then (5) sit back down, but all I think of is the fact that this essay and prompt were handed to me, and I am being forced to expand the hell out of a fill-in-the-blanks argument that I have no passion about. The prompt also cackles at my lack of knowledge about the subject, which weakens even further my ability to create a solid argument. I know, I know--if I read more current events I would know more about this stuff. But I do read current events. Just not enough to at least sound like I know everything. Maybe I don't read about a diverse enough range of topics? But then, with the reading of the news comes a whole new pressure from society aside from to understand things. The pressure is so powerful that somehow I've just subconsciously decided that my hatred of it has eclipsed my will to read more. So, I stick to the major headlines, which are mainly politics and foreign affairs, and then scurry back to Lifehacker and Stereogum before my mental health takes a nosedive. 

Speaking of mental health, every day I wonder how I'm still sane. I had more to contribute to this post, but I think I have to get back to my essay now. I was going to insert a simile here, but all the examples I can think of are too obscene. 

Maybe I won't finish the essay.

motivation

my favorite motivation song that doesn't work at all

and...this clip is even more useless.

Maybe this one?

nah.